WITH ANOTHER DRYER~!!!!!
third time.... YEP!!!
It was the easiest wrestling match, since my Dad and I had already done that twice before, earlier in the day!!!!
I said, hey we'll be pro-fessionals at this Switch-a-roo soon!!!! he just shakes his head,,, and He doesn't know that I can SEE just a hint of a smile...
And let me just mention the fact,,,
my dad and I worked TOGETHER MOST OF THE DAY.... and didn't ARGUE ONE TIME!!!
I think you call that progress???
And NO, I'm saying I'm the one who did it..... He was trying to get along with me.... I could SENSE IT..... or maybe I'm way off,,, who knows..
what I DO KNOW,,, is the other story I'm telling in this post,,, has my Dad involved too,, and it's been VERY COOL to not only SEE him once in awhile,,, but have him HELP ME,,, with NO BITCHING.... and actually STICKING UP FOR ME,,,, when I needed it.
I mean,,,, it's something I never saw coming,,, or expected, or anything.
Maybe he's finally noticed how hard I'M TRYING EVERY DAY,,, just to hold my life together.....
See,,,,,, It wasn't very long ago at all,,,, he didn't believe a word that came out of my mouth,, and I could tell, couldn't really stand to be around me.
THATS OKAY!!! I certainly don't blame him,, Now that I can SEE how far I've really come,, and where I really WAS , not so long ago.
so,,,,,,, ?? It's any one's guess WHAT goes thru his brain cells... LOL
BUT we are getting along,
at least for now,, and he seems to listen when I speak, and believe what I say, and believe IN ME, again.
I'm not doing anything to screw that up. it's taken almost three years. . . . .
I harbor ZERO resentment,,, one thing I learned in counseling,, they tell you OVER AND OVER....
not every person WILL be able to forgive mistakes you made during your addiction cycle(s)...... But all WE can do, is TRY TRY TRY,,, and keep doing the "next right thing" ...... and NEVER EXPECT FORGIVENESS... actually accept the fact they may NOT FORGIVE YOU,,,,,, that way, when/if they actually do,, it's a POSITIVE and not a negative.
okay, there's your RECOVERY 101 for this post....
A tale of two roommates,,,
So,,, to keep things CONFIDENTIAL......
for some ODD reason/lack of brain cells this particular day in December....
an "old friend" I once lived next to,
got out of a 90 day treatment program just about two months ago. she is working on earning full custody of her 7 mo old daughter. ( I think 7 )
back in December, she was staying with a family member, and not naming the particulars,, she had to leave suddenly. . . it was 23 degrees out at 7am when she called me bawling. . as any (sober) person would be.....
she was upset and in despair, with NO PLACE TO GO,,,, and nowhere to turn. I said, well I'd really like you to TRY and find a solid place to live,, but if it comes down to the NITTY GRITTY,,, I do not want you sleeping in the streets or some one's car, and relapse.... You have been working SO HARD,,, and I just..... I'd really like to support you in that. BUT,,,,, I'm absolutely dirt poor right now, and can't really even pay my utility bills, alone.
she assures me she should be able to find a place, without much trouble.... she starts staying with a friend,,,, just across town. She'd call and check in with me, let me know how things were or ask for a ride, about once a week, or so. I invited her and her mother to Sam's birthday party. . . . I really want to keep her 'mind in the right spot' concentrating on her DAUGHTER,,, and doing all the right things. NOT THAT I'M PERFECT.. it's just a great feeling,,,, to be some one's knight/angel/savior when they are in a hopeless mind-set.
then,,,,,, I'm not sure???
Christmas came,, and I invited her to Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner. And her boyfriend, too of course..... they did attend,,, and it was fine. . My family is very supportive OF ANYONE trying to win the battle I fight, daily.
they also like "knowing" who the hell my friends are.... LOL.... yes, probably to keep better track of me,, but honestly, It doesn't bother me... with nothing to hide, it's a NON ISSUE..
so,,,,, right around new year's eve,,,actually two days prior,,,, she says she really is going to need to stay with me.
I agree, and tell her I want to let her know of just a few rules I have. . Like ---
Absolutely no pills/H/paraphernalia of any of it..~~~. Keep in mind Sam goes to sleep at 8am ... QUIET TIME all the way until 630am...~~~ our "schedule" Is everything.. it'd really help if she stayed on the same one..~~~... No guests whom I do not know, and definitely not after 8pm. zero tolerance for anyone actively using coming over to the house. ~~~ we will work out something for rent,, but probably just split the utilities, 50/50 .~~~ this can not be a "permanent" solution,,, a few months AT most, just until you do figure out something PERMANENT...
Not bad, right???
I mean,, yeah I'm a real stickler... LOL
well in ALL HONESTY AND FAIRNESS.... things were FINE for three weeks..
I mean,, yeah it was weird,,, two people being IN my stuff, and IN my "space" but I felt RELIEF ABOUT THE BILLS.... and thought,,, this is a perfect way to get to mike's actual payday,, when he can pay some of my bills.
about Mid-January,,,, I say,,, and explain how the City of Warrenton, does NOT let you get 30 days past -due on the water/sewer/trash bill,,, and it's due, and I don't have the money.... But I can/will have HALF THE $$$ by Friday of next week,
so if you two would SPLIT THE BILL WITH ME... by FRIDAY,, that'd be great... oh and by the way,,,,, they will probably leave a SHUT OFF NOTICE sometime during the week,,, we have to make sure it's paid BEFORE the date on the tag... they WILL SHUT IT OFF.....
They have SHUT MY WATER OFF TWICE,,, in the last 18 months.. and they "waived" the FEES ONE TIME..... the latest SHUT OFF,,,, ended up COSTING OVER $500
let's split the bill,,,,, we each pay $80 on Friday,, and all will be COOL.
hmmmmmm I think things are FINE... I mean, she gave me NO REASON TO DOUBT it'd be paid.... or I'd have the money, by then.
TUESDAY comes the SHUT OFF NOTICE/door hangar
"pay past due amount no later than Monday 5pm or your service will be disconnected without any further notice" by the way,,, Monday was Martin Luther King Jr. day,, and a holiday. so the city is CLOSED.
On Wednesday or so,,,,
I see some shopping bags around the house.... I do NOT say anything,, it's not really my business... but I am starting to STRESS OUT about the bill........
FRIDAY COMES AND GOES.....
I give them a ride here and there,,,, it seems as though they have some money>???
I WAIT TO SAY A WORD.... even though the ANXIETY IS EATING AT ME... because I mention to my grandma,,, about the bill, the shut off notice, and the fact I have two grown adults living in my house now.... and should be able to PAY THE DAMN BILL...
I've only been working part-time,
it's a tough time of the year for construction, and especially in our area... so my "paycheck" ON FRIDAY was $225.
the water bill was $ 167.00 the "past due" amount...
I paid my $80 online, on SATURDAY... I had wanted to pay it AT THE CITY OFFICE, by Friday,,, but obviously didn't have the money.
I mention HOW STRESSED OUT I AM ABOUT THE BILL/SHUT OFF WARNING.
she just ASSURES me,,
she will have the money...
Monday..... I go to work.... I get done... Go get Sam from daycare.... CALL and ask, so do you have that money?
**** uhhh no, but come home so we can work it out
do you realize they are gonna SHUT THE WATER OFF!!!??!!!
(((yes,,, I started to lose my 'cool' but who the hell wouldn't??)))
she just continues to try and assure me,
she will have the MONEY LATER IN THE WEEK and relax, and blah blah
NO THATS UNACCEPTABLE... TOTALLY NOT OKAY
yes, I yelled........
I called once again, this time,, putting my foot down....
and this is the HONEST TO GOD TRUTH OF THE SITUATION....
"alright,, look,,,, if you do NOT have the $80 for the bill, then you need to LEAVE NOW... because you guys have been LIVING AT MY HOUSE FOR A MONTH NOW AND HAVE NOT GIVEN ME ONE F_ING DOLLAR,,,, now how is that FAIR... You tell me,, WHY my son should have HIS WATER SHUT OFF cuz YOU do not feel the "need" to pay ONE F_ING BILL?????"
no, I didn't listen to her bullshit answer.
I wasn't listening to anything... I was totally OFF MY ROCKER , by then,
so mad that I was shaking,
so PISSED OFF I was ready to beat the bloody hell out of any person that LOOKED at me wrong...
I haven't been that PIST OFF In a long, long time.
act "entitled" to act like I go to work EVERY DAY,,, and work my ASS OFF TO SUPPORT TWO GROWN ADULTS..... So they can sleep all day and stay up all night, and cook at midnight, and run up my bills, and NOT PAY ME A SINGLE CENT..
that gets me fired up!!!!!!!
to top it ALL OFF........ this Holiday Monday,,, I look up my POWER BILL online...
are you sitting down??
from december 26th to jan 20th,, it's $ 393.00
YES FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS......
I mention THAT...... they of course do NOT believe me,, it's completely obvious at THIS JUNCTURE... they PAY NO BILLS AT ALL... EVER.... and do NOT plan to.
I don't know for SURE I guess....but the way she just thought I was totally full of shit... was unbelievable.... I left it on the laptop,,, she could have looked at it for herself at ANY POINT.
She just cried,,, after I got so MAD I pounded the counter top, AS I spoke (ok;yelled)
well she backed way up,,
then just cried, and whined,,, "FRIENDS DONT DO THIS"
well FRIENDS DONT LEAVE YA HIGH N DRY EITHER.. why SHOULD I have to spend MY WHOLE PAYCHECK ON THIS BILL... when there are clearly TWO OTHER ADULTS HERE<<<<<< PAYING NOTHING!!!!
some friend... huh
Well I guess I've wasted enough time on that subject...
as grandma, and mom both said..... Hope you learned your lesson
I definitely did. I'm a happier person living alone, anyway... just too spoiled, I guess.
Good luck to them in the future... On to the next IDIOTS they go....
least my "turn" for idiot of the month, is up!!!
It's sad , the whole thing....... and I really hope we can just part ways, and it be done with. . . . . . I wanted to take her to small claims court... but my whole family pitched in to help with the water bill... and they said, just drop it and move on.
And, since I got SO MAD,,, so fast about the whole situation... maybe I can't see straight and that's EXACTLY what I need to do........
is going to kindergarten next year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually have an appointment with the "team" of teachers, (head start/ESD/evaluators/specialists) on February 10th,,, on what the plan is for him academically, next year..... I'm hopeful he can be out of the ESD classes... but I guess if they agree it's best to keep him there, I don't know how I'll argue not to. I do know the classes he's attended so far, have really made a difference. And he likes it,, I think he benefits a ton from the "one on one" he gets there.
he's learning to ride WITHOUT TRAINING WHEELS....
of course he's much more ready to just "go"
than he REALLY IS...... but he's making progress... and that's all any of us can hope for.
I can't wait to let him play SPORTS
this spring/summer, since he's FINALLY FIVE YEARS OLD!!! the "minimum" age for soccer/baseball/etc.
I think he will LOVE IT... and even if he doesn't..... that's OKAY TOO... we'll just find something he DOES LOVE!!!!
he's working 7 days a week, still...... he started driving SOLO, on january 2nd,,,, and since his boss only does monthly payroll,,,his first paycheck
won't be until FEBRUARY 15TH.
but that's OK,, I keep telling him...... maybe it will be TOTALLY WORTH THE WAIT...
So,,, monday thru fridays he's driving log truck anywhere from 2/330 am to 430-530 PM. and yes he's tired,,, but he says he likes it... and he's really TRYING.... trying to support me and Sam.... trying to show me he can take care of his bullshit, as I like to call it..... and well it is showing me a lot of progress.. especially since he's had a pretty GREAT attitude, to boot.
oh,,,,, and as soon as his boss finds someone to FILL the position, washing trucks on saturday/sundays,,,, he will have SUNDAYS OFF.... and he's pretty damn excited about that...
Sam thinks it's the definition of COOL... that his Dad drives a big ol' log truck , now..
he loves asking him about it,,, and talking about it, and telling people,, anyone who will listen pretty much....
Mike passed his third polygraph,, about two weeks ago.. which is GREAT.... not that in my opinion they really "mean" anything... PFFFFFT.. please!!! but it's good for His Probation... better yet, getting OFF PROBATION.... and that's his #1 goal.
I think that's about all I've got tonight.
man, I am tired... Sam and I had a ROUGH DAY TODAY....
the TV receptacle, where the HDMI plug goes... is BROKEN... I've tried everything, I worked on it for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT TODAY.
we usually get to watch Netflix/HuluPlus,,, by streaming it on the Roku,,,,
which hooks up to the TV w/HDMI cable....
NONE OF THE THREE female ends in the TV will work... the picture won't show up. it's TOTALLY FRUSTRATING..... and Sam was MAD at me earlier, cuz "you broke the tv"
I kept saying YEP EVERYTHING IS BROKEN,,, Get USED TO it!!!
was a rough day, but I just read him 3 stories,, and rubbed his lil back until he fell asleep.... oh and sang a couple songs, too
Days like today,,,, I have to do some "extra" stuff just for my piece of mind,, to make sure he knows, I love him whole-heartily no matter WHAT THE DAY BRINGS....
2 years,,,, 9 months,,,, 9 days And Counting !!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANKS AS ALWAYS to my countless FAMILY... who stretches NEAR AND FAR...
who may or may NOT be related by "blood"
who love me unconditionally,,,
and would help me with anything they could..... any time of the day or night.....
I'm holding up guys....
doing my best,,, and showing a SMILE, to boot.
why do I look like I'm in pain???? cuz Sam's elbow was IN MY LEG!!!!
enjoy each breath........