Sunday, March 3, 2013

Our Family saga continues-------

Mike's probation officer denied my grandmother's house. She gave him ***Ten days***
to find a place to live....
A place~~~
NOT (by/near/next to/across from)  a park, school, shopping center, or anywhere children will/may gather. What a freaking joke........(since this "victim" is 27 )
The only 'good' thing I found out,
 the last seven days, is that he *only* has to register while ON probation. . . So, there's some hope there at least. 36 months CAN go by fast,,, IF you aren't homeless.
If he's NOT ON MONITORING, by the time this ten days is up basically,,,, he MUST check into County Jail (by 8am), for the Remainder of his 'sentence' = thirty days.
the time sentence w/plea deal, was sixty days total, w/28 credit-for-time-served.
Mike SPECIFICALLY stated to the judge, he wanted to do Electric Monitoring (house arrest)   SO that he could watch his son, thus saving money on daycare..........
that date, is the 12th of March....... How the hell did THIS HAPPEN???
I have NO IDEA.......
 I mean, I get what happened with the actual charges, and all.......But when the attorney informed me,that the "plea" he was looking at, had this ONE little stipulation in it, of having to register,,,,, as a sex offender......... I was really against it..... but Mike was just REALLY ready to get OUT.....
While I was on the phone with the attorney,,,,  I said, "my biggest fear is, him not being able to live with us, or him being separated even longer from his son"
He just assured me,,,,,, again and again, THAT wouldn't happen........
Yeah,,,, I'm so glad I listened.
This is the most difficult thing, I've ever dealt with....... Seriously.......
getting off drugs, was difficult, VERY DIFFICULT,,,, 
it took LOTS of attempts, and all the guilt and shame I felt for what I was doing..... I didn't even know what to do, except MORE drugs.... I know it sounds CRAZY..... but that's how addiction works... anyways........ THAT was  hard, but this is worse because at least when I was in DT's and with-drawls, I knew I made the RIGHT decision.... I KNEW it was going to get BETTER as time went on.......... I KNEW it could NOT get worse. No matter how "bad" I felt, I knew deep down in my heart, it would get better, and every hour that passed, was an hour I never ever had to do "over" like the YEARS beforehand, when I'd be that sick, ALL the
Not knowing,
what the next 'day' will bring,,, Having NO WHERE for your husband, to LIVE.... Yeah, that's tough.....
Don't take my words the wrong way, here , either..... I'm not saying, that he's one hundred percent innocent... Honestly, If he wouldn't have lied during that INITIAL interview, and he hadn't have been overly-friendly----- well he'd probably be awaiting TRIAL right now.
So, I'm NOT saying he doesn't deserve ANY CONSEQUENCES, here.
I think the consequences he IS dealing with, are a LITTLE BIT EXTREME, wouldn't you say??
You know how there is those stories,
of a "THIEF" getting their right hand CHOPPED OFF, for stealing???
Well, this is kinda like getting your hand, maybe your fingers CHOPPED for stealing a loaf of bread............or a candy bar?
 A little bit dramatic, a little BLOWN OUT of proportion............
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Honestly,,,,,
I don't even really know what to do ...... I've written two letters, this last week.
FIRST ,,, I wrote one to the "judge"
for whenever, he gets a hearing....... is allowed to SEE a judge and hopefully gets things in WRITING.........
I'll post part of that,, at the bottom..... I don't want to post anything, toooooo personal, I'm sure you can't blame me, there.
I wrote to the County Sheriff...... I actually "met" him when I was just 18 years old.
and I thought, it might be worth a SHOT, to write him, about everything, explain it all, just on the OFF CHANCE
he'd be able to HELP ME... I really DID go into details on that one... I pretty much explained the last 12 and a half years, in it.
Almost like a "highlight reel" from a football game. 
**********LETS HOPE HE CAN HELP..........
If not, I guess I'll start writing Senators, and the Governor, any other ELECTED official worried about taxpayers/voters and me getting louder and louder.

and I'm not just going to "sit around" and let it slide.
this is NOT why I pay taxes... and I'm pretty sure the VAST MAJORITY of tax payers/voters would be rather pissy to hear,
how mike is being held away from his son, and EVENTUALLY I could be FORCED to quit my job and go on "assistance" because of it.
For what reason?
IF this P.O. would have GIVEN ME A REASON,,,
I might not be as "fired up" as I am...
to just FORBID him from seeing his son, and living with his family,,,
"" Because it's not stated that HE CAN""
well that sounds like an ABUSE OF AUTHORITY TO ME....
********************************************************************************* Well here's the "points" for the judge, to look over.
IF we EVER get a court date, that is.... Because it won't matter too much, after the 12th  of March, Not for 30  days, anyways.

On Behalf of:
Michael  Cowan 
RE: Probation/plea bargain
 Not being allowed to have contact w/his four year old son, or live at the residence he was at, Or even at family member's residence. (no other options)

1.) Mr. Cowan was living at *****************************
He and his wife purchased  home in June/2012
Current Probation officer is not allowing him to live there, on account of taking sex offender rehabilitation classes. 
Further more, there are NO other children on the block(besides his only son), where the house is located. the probation officer gives the reason of it being a "family  oriented neighborhood" and there being children in the area, as him not being able to live there; along with a "bus stop" On the "main road" approximately 500 ft from the house.... (you can't 'see' it from our house, though)

2.) Upon being told "no" about living at home, and having NO contact with his son by the probation officer, Michael arranged to stay with Amber's Grandmother--********** Lewis Rd, Warrenton,Or   -------On Tuesday, February 26th, --------
the probation officer came out to "look around" the property, and didn't like that there is a park, just across the street. The house is actually three lots, the largest on the block, and the actual home sits all the way to the back of the property. it's actually closer to "clark road" than Lewis road (park is off lewis road/not clark road) , but the P.O. Denied him being able to live there, and gave him TWO WEEKS to find a new residence, from the 26th. Reason being, the park across the street. Even though, it's been pointed out, there is a registered predatory sex offender, living about a quarter mile just north of this address. Michael has not been deemed predatory, or accused of a violent crime. 

3.) Amber , Michael's wife is currently paying  $550/month since his arrest in January, for daycare as she works full time. It was brought up in court, at the early resolution conference, Michael being able to help out by working part time while his son attends Preschool, and watching him the rest of the day, thus saving almost $500 a month. Nothing to "stop" that was said, but the Probation Officer has stated time and time again, He's not allowed to have ANY contact with his son, until he's completed sex offender rehabilitation classes AND he can never live in the current neighborhood, period. The P.O. has also stated, that because there were NO specific instructions saying he COULD have contact with his son, or he could live with his family, that she will not "advocate" for that. ***Please see attached information for more on that subject.

4.) Amber and Michael met with the probation officer to see WHERE exactly he is supposed to live. She said, the "Restoration House" in Seaside, which costs $450/month.

According to the Probation Officer, he obviously cannot live with his family, at the Grandmother's house, OR the homeless shelter (too close to a women/children's shelter), All of their family and extended family and/or Friends ALL HAVE CHILDREN.

5.) Michael (and his wife) Fully intend on having him complete the $2500 evaluation, within the 60 day time period---ONLY  IF Amber can get some help with daycare. He's going to complete the sex offender rehabilitation classes, as  he does NOT want to violate his probation, and end up doing a 25 month prison term.

6.) To be successful, Michael ---- 
Needs to have a legal address. Either, with his family , or at his wife's grandmother's home. Those are really the only options they can afford; And be able to afford the probation fees, Evaluation ($2500), regular household bills, fines, classes, ETC. It looks like everything else will "fall" into place, if they can all reside together as a family.

Now, that you've read that..... Am I asking for MUCH????
It doesn't feel like I am.......
Where it says "please see attached information" 
I just wrote maybe  a one page (typed) letter, saying that his "crime" was nothing to do with anyone under 18, the "victim" is 27 years old... so why can't he be with his child......
What the hell, right? why is this child thing such a HUGE ISSUE??? 
I mean, Him NOT being able to see his son, or even LIVE in a close proximity of CHILDREN....

I'm sorry to say,,,,
but IF he were some KIND of child-predator, , , I'm about 200 % SURE I would have known before 12 and a half YEARS of being together............
He would have made at least ONE mistake, before TWELVE YEARS TIME........
I mean, c'mon........
this is just ridiculous..... People think I'm totally lying about the accusation/crime/whatever because of how BAD these consequences are.............. It's NOT until they READ the reports with their OWN EYES,,, do they FINALLY say, 
all I can think, is TELL ME about it !!!!!!!!
I'm the ONE living this freaking nightmare!!!!
That's about all I can say.
Feeling pretty hopeless these days..... Not being together, Sam always asking me for his Daddy to come HOME NOW.......
really gets depressing.
We ALL make mistakes,,, every single one of us is HUMAN, and CAN learn to be better.
One huge, enormous fear I currently have,,,,
Is if this situation continues, and HE is just as hopeless as I AM, , , , , , What reason does he have to TRY TO BE BETTER????
Your answer is NONE.
****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ******
the most shocking thing to me,
in this SO CALLED judicial system..... is the ONE THING they say over and over and over
in Addiction Treatment,
is "you can NEVER have too much support"
anyone knows as well as I do,,,, the vast majority of people "in the system" do NOT have any support, at all. They have burned every bridge they've crossed.
IF this "program"; this Probation Officer, REALLY wanted him to get "better" or REALLY thought he WAS DANGEROUS,,,
why on Earth, would she take the ONLY THING he cared about away??????
does that make ANY SENSE???
Not when there's NO REASON to do so.
If his crime was against a child, or EVEN a male, okay,,,,, I might say, "you win"
IF it was brutal, I'd definitely PERSONALLY have my doubts, on what should be done, before he could be around his own child, another child, ETC.
*****POINT IS*****
neither is true or even part of the statement.

Now I know the reason MOST people, once arrested, just make this circular trip in and out of jail the rest of their lives, WELL THIS IS WHY......................
Once released,
they have EVERYTHING taken away.... anything they MIGHT NOT have lost, because of their
crime/mistake/misfortune IS TAKEN AWAY....
so why even try?
it's like, 
Telling your kid,
they will NEVER eat ice cream again, NEVER have another new toy, EVER.
why would they do a THING you asked???
Think about THAT the next time you 'think' you've spotted a criminal.
Ponder what they USED to be like, before every ounce of dignity, self-respect, confidence and every thing they LOVED was taken from them.
I'd be willing to bet they were basically a  GOOD PERSON................
the NEXT time you hear about a sex crime.... maybe instead of AUTOMATICALLY thinking, the person is guilty,,,,,,, Ponder just how much is messed up for them, JUST from the accusation. Not to mention their family, children, etc.
I have NO IDEA what will happen next.......
It's looking like Mike will be homeless in a matter of days.
Then, he'll have to go do his 30 days, so I guess the POSITIVE thing, is at least he won't freeze to death for thirty days............
And, it's not because he doesn't HAVE a place,,
it's because he's not ALLOWED to stay there. 
I'm just going to keep writing letters, keep making calls, keep trying.
But I'm running out of TIME,,, and options.

And I'm leaving you all with two of my favorite quotes these days..........
Please send all the  "good"  you can , , , this way, , , we could sure use it.....
as always
************THANKS for Reading***********

****UPDATE**** {After reading}
WOW-------I sound so...... Negative? Something like that.....
I really don't mean to. I'm not UN happy..... I'm not exactly what I'd call "HAPPY "   right now, for obvious reasons.... But I do continue to look at the BRIGHT SIDE OF THINGS----
As I've learned HOW to do, over the last 22 1/2 months........
Not the easiest thing for me to do right now, but I do somehow find reasons to smile, all day long.
***Life IS what YOU MAKE IT***
Meaning,,, There's SO MANY REASONS I could be depressed right now,
but I CHOOSE not to be.----------
Dance IN the rain, laugh like a KID, TRY not to let the "big" problems in life, overwhelm the small things you find JOY IN.....
that's ll for now.... Had to say something NICE, with all the negativity

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