I'm still shocked,
all it takes is one phone call, one two minute statement, that doesn't even seem "solid" for a man to be put in jail, and sit there, for weeks.
From the outside looking IN, by people who don't even know that much about us, they even say it's ALL A MESS..... and BECAUSE it sounds like a BS Story to begin with.
I'm not going into details, NOW, but believe me, I will someday in the future. and YOU can judge for yourselves..........
I figured out the TAXES............but I'm waiting on ONE FORM, that
"isn't available until 2/8/13" That's it, as soon as that's available, I'm
E-Filing it, and that's done..... then it's off to bankruptcy court, so I can get this DAMN GARNISHMENT GONE..............
when I start getting ALL my check again,,,, minus payroll taxes of course.......
we will be JUST FINE to pay the bills, and everything on what I make... Mike may go back to school, I really do NOT care what he decides to do.
honestly, I just want my family back together, at this point.... :-)
I know the first order of business, will be some work on the house,,, that's a definite plan of action. I just have NOT had the time to deal with it.
HE will be able to, and that's a really huge help. NOT to mention "no daycare"
will HELP TREMENDOUSLY, as far as the household bills go........
Sorry, If I've already said some of this, or a portion of it, I can't remember what I've shared already.... I did "skim" the last couple of posts, to see, but I just cannot remember EVERYTHING right now.
It's been a REALLY LONG two weeks....... I guess there is a certain "comfort" you have with someone, after so long together. I know I said before it's like walking around missing an arm. but it's MORE than that.
It's just the peacefulness I feel, when he's HERE with ME. and US.......
He's loved me no matter what,
over the years. that's where I think PART of it, comes into play. It doesn't matter what kind of day Im having, he's going to STAY no matter what.
One positive thing I've found,,, thru this experience,,,
is I have finally proved to HIM ,,, that I love HIM the SAME EXACT WAY....
just like he believed IN ME, throughout my struggles.
That's been a good thing, for ME to be able to kind of "pay it forward" for lack of a better term.
We are still talking twice a day, and I go see him on Saturday and Sunday for a half hour. he has actually three "blocks" of time, a half hour each. but honestly, I cannot sit on the metal stool ANY longer than thirty minutes!!!
that first weekend, I went up to visit, the second day I went ahead and signed up for an hour....... well half way thru,,,,, when you have to start the stupid phone thing over again, he says, "are you sure you want to sit here another half hour?"
My butt hurt bad, from the metal seat,,,, and I said, "I'll sit here with you, it's FINE, I'm here"
"well, I'd rather just call later, these cuffs bother me (his waist and ankles) and the seat sucks, and I can't hardly hear you anyway, but it's been REALLY NICE to SEE YOU" (mike said)
"okay,,,,, ha ha ha ha, I think we are GETTING OLD BABE"
he laughs, at that....... and we say our goodbye's .
THIS WEEKEND,,, wasn't nearly as bad, as the second, and NOWHERE like the first two days, I went up there.
He's definitely CALMED it down, and accepted that he can't do A THING about where he is,,, might as well put your best foot forward and deal with it right at the present time...........
I just keep telling him we BOTH have incredibly hard "roles" to play right now, they are both highly stressful,
but just in about the MOST OPPOSITE way. He agrees,,, and we both would like to trade places, about now..... LOL
WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOO..... and come out on the OTHER SIDE, a stronger family for it.... a stronger marriage because of it !!!!!!!
Sam is meltdown CENTRAL these days.... and he HATES the "learning center" he goes to , after head start......
Im pretty sure, that FIRST WEEK, when I told the head lady and his teachers, what EXACTLY was going on at our home...... I know they talked about "it" amongst themselves, because someone I did NOT tell asked me....
It was soon after that,
he did NOT want to go back after sometime around this day.... and has thrown a tantrum EVERY DAY SINCE..... when we go there.
when he goes to Head Start, well that's the EASY PART. he actually LOVES head start..... I was JUST as upfront and honest with THAT school, too. but they helped get a counselor out to our house, instead of whatever took place, at the learning center.
I posted about it, when it happened, but Sam "announced" one morning that his daddy was jail, he's lost and he's NOT coming back...... Yes, it was definitely hard to hear, and see the look on his face...
it was after that he did NOT want to go back.... and he has PLENTY of friends he gets along with,, I've asked LOTS of questions about WHY he doesn't want to go, so that's the ONLY THING I can figure out.
Let's NOT forget,
that we can leave him "open" to drop off rates,,, for future use.... In case Mike has an appointment, or something, anything that comes up, really.
That's after he gets home anyways.
so, that sounds like the "plan" to ME.....
Maybe he'll be "just fine" with the place, after his dad is back home??
I really have NO clue.
the counselor did warn us, that he may "act out" even after his dad IS home. and let us know, it's something to watch for.
It's fine, I'm just ready to MOVE FORWARD,,,, heal and grow from this experience, and just be DONE with it, all together.
That's all I've got for now.... HOPEFUL for some GOOD NEWS ON MONDAY,,,,
and I'll keep this updated, of course.
Thanks for listening, thanks for reading,
thanks for all the support I've received from everyone that knows me.....
even the ones that don't know me that WELL, have been MORE than supportive of this situation.
My boss(es) especially, have been MORE than understanding, patient, and willing to work with me on schedule. (like tu,w,th I can't drop Sam til 8am, so I get to work at 830am now) but I guess that's part of my "pay off" for working soooo very hard, the last almost two years....... :-)
here's the footage from today..... that Mike did get to see,
through a one inch pane of glass........