Saturday, January 19, 2013

Worst day, ever.

Title says it all.......
I was hesitant on posting ANY of this. it's both very highly personal, and very painful.
but I said I'd be 100% honest,
so that's what I'm going to do.
I will start at the very beginning.
so, just before Christmas this detective came to our house, ten at night. Asked Mike a whole
shitload of questions, about some 26 year old woman, who lives out  in Astoria.
I'm not going to say her name.............
Until this all gets worked out, EVEN THOUGH I'd really love to tell ALL Of  you......
a million and one questions, and of all things about "sexual harassment"
Mike couldn't even REMEMBER the ride, because it had been THREE WEEKS prior.
Actually, she rode to portland, and back, on December third.
the detective came just before Christmas......................
.(((.(he acted like he couldn't... found out later, he was lying to me, the night the investigator was at our home. he was scared, and he told me,,, he was SURE in his mind it would "all work out fine" because he did NOTHING WRONG.... and I can see where he's coming from there.... why would any normal person think,,, they are going to be in jail, shortly, for something someones mother says happened???.... just something to think about)))))
At the time of "questioning"
Mike was very confused, frustrated, irritated, you name it.
he immediately called his boss, after the detective left.
His BOSS said that in the last two years, this "kinda thing" had happened at least three times.
Where these women, trying to get money out of the insurance, you know, some kind of "award"
His boss assured him,
obviously they didn't have "enough" to take him to jail.
Mike sighed a breath of relief, and went right back to work the next day. His boss said,
"mike, your the best driver I've had, yet, don't worry about this man"
That was the weekend before Christmas......
I looked up his paperwork from December third, I saw the name, didn't really "click" that I knew
her or anything, figured, his boss must be right, and didn't say much.
I did ask him,,,
are you SURE you didn't like "accidentally flirt" or something?
he says, NO, I don't think so?
but he really was fuzzy on the details, I mean if you think about HOW MANY people he gives rides to, sometimes three trips to portland and BACK each day,,,
I guess I can see HOW it'd be confusing.
so, I was you know, just TRYING to figure out why someone would say such a thing?
why they wouldn't contact his BOSS for starters.
he tells me,
WELL, what happened, WHAT I remember was like, she was talking both her mother and her were talking actually alot on the way TO portland, you know, LOTS of people talk to me, it's a boring ride.
I distinctly remember, on the way back, she was VERY quiet.
Mike's boss constantly "screens" his riders/clients and kind of does an "evaluation" asking about the service he provided, ETC.
so he says ON the way back she didn't say hardly TWO WORDS to me,
and I thought she was mad or something.
I was trying to kinda smooth things over,,,,, My boss called in the middle of a ride, and my phone
lit up. It's mounted to the dash, since he uses a bluetooth, anyways, I guess she sees the picture on his phone, of me and sam.
she asked him, "is that Amber?"
He said yes, and explains we're married.
Mike says, he thought NOTHING of it, but just kept driving, dropped her off, and at the end of the day he tried calling to apologize for "whatever" might have been wrong. he was super worried, his boss would ask her how he did, and she was going to complain about SOMETHING.
So, he tried twice, no answer.
he says they exchanged messages, just saying I hope that everything went okay for you today,
I didn't mean to make you mad or uncomfortable, you seemed upset on the way back from Portland,
and I apologize if I did in fact do something to make you angry.
now, this is all stuff I've gotten out of Mike just today......
at 9am the sheriff came and arrested him for felony sex abuse.
Yep, can you believe this shit???
first of all,
Sam was at my mother's house, thank god.
So we stayed up late last night, like really late.
I promised he could sleep in today, I had planned on taking sam to the park with some of his friends.
knock knock knock at the door.
I had fallen asleep in the recliner, and I thought it was the neighbor,,,,,,,,,,,LOL
so I ignored it the first few times.
I was like WTF????
and flung the door open, there was the Sheriff.
he says,
Is Michael here?
Im like yea, but he's asleep.
WELL you need to wake him up, he says, real pissy like.
Im like, well I don't think you want me to, but okay I will.
I asked what it was about he says, he needs to speak with Michael.
I'm like OKAY mr. your in charge. No, I didn't say that part. LOL
the guy was a total ASS from the start, seriously.
now , NOW that I know what he's being charged with, I guess I can SORTA understand it.
(((sidenote,,,,, here...... you could FEEL a fight coming, in the air... I had NO IDEA what was about to happen... but I COULD FEEL it wasn't going to be GOOD....seriously looking  back on the situation... it was like the came LOOKING for a fight)))

but what the hell ever happened to innocent until proven guilty????
back on topic here.
So he comes in behind me,
asked if there was anybody else in the house, besides us, I say No our son is at my mothers.
Again, being the real nice cop he is,
I say, "mike there's a cop here, you gotta get up baby"
he opens ONE EYE and the cop and now his sidekick, mr. nice number two,
"get up Michael we have a warrant for you arrest"
mike says,
WHAT???? what the hell for???
and gets himself sat up to the side of the bed.
he's in his underwear, by the way.
Mr. sidekick ,
shouts again, we have a warrant your coming with us, get off your fucking ass now
Mike shouts back, now coming to his feet,
and crosses his arms, across his chest, still in his underwear.
nice cop number one,
YELLS< about 12 inches from his face,
I walk down the hall, I can tell shits getting heated.
the cop TRIES TO GRAB MIKE'S arms,
and mike STEPS BACK, toward the bed.
they BOTH then proceed to tackle him, like wolves or something,
and drag him by the neck into the hall, out of the bedroom, tearing down our bedroom
curtains, ripping all the plugs outta the wall, along the way.
Mike's screaming now.
"ouch what the F did I do?"
why the F am I going to jail, Im NOT AN ANIMAL MAN, that f-ing hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they threaten to taze him,
and he quiets down, but they are still on him like wolves.
it was horrible, horrific and something I NEVER want to see again.
I felt pain in my heart, more than, I don't even know.
Mike's about as bi-polar as you can get, and he does FINE most of the time,
but tear him OUT of bed on saturday morning,
and just treat him like some kind of animal?
yea, not good results.
so they get him into the livingroom, and at some point in time they called for "back up"
yea, really, Im not even joking.
so NOW there's FIVE COPS at my house, all because mike refused cuffs, until they told him
WHAT his warrant was for.
I just got back from visiting him,
he's in a bright yellow jumpsuit, chained at the ankles and waist.
he says, they don't take him anywhere without the chains, because his charge is felony sex abuse,
forcing himself on that woman. (who was 26 in December, and is 27 now)
yea, unbelievable.
he says, he's by himself, because all sex offenders are, and that they are treating him like an animal trapped in a cage, the scum of the earth.
I looked in his eyes,
I saw nothing but  pain and sadness, he says, " I swear amber, I swear on our son, I did not do this"
do you believe me?
yes, yes I do mike.

I have to say,,,,Reading this months later, after all my family is been through,
just brings all the pain back UP to the "top"
But ,,, I felt like it was really important to add right here......
finding out later on----
that he knew the "allegation" when that investigator came to the house,
and he just flat out lied to me,,,, hurts worse than the REST of it all....
just in case your wondering,,,,
it's the end of APRIL now, he still is forbidden from ANY CONTACT with his son,
He admitted openly to me,
just last week,,,, that he felt "entitled" in a way, to lie to me, about the investigator,
that the VERBAL Flirtation that DID take place,  was absolutely mutual, AND, that it never "went further than that"
he still swears that.... his two thousand dollar evaluation,,,
the "dr." says on his summary, he thinks Mike is being HONEST about "his side of the story" since, there's some "holes" in the prosecuting case, anyway.

IN NO WAY am I saying,,
he did the "right thing" by LYING to the investigator, LYING TO ME, or any of that...
NOPE that was absolutely wrong,
and I HONESTLY BELIEVE,,, he needs to pay SOME TYPE of consequence for that...
but a month in jail, the registered sex offender label,
and NOT being able to even speak on the phone to his son, for maybe a YEAR, is a little harsh,,,, wouldn't you say???
Let's not forget,,, the allegation, is touching over the clothes, while driving 60mph.
So, even IF,, and that's a BIG IF for me,,,
he did do that.... even IF,,,
it's still not a punishment fitting of the crime... At least not in my opinion.... and further more,,, its the "mother" of the 27 year old,,,
that made the report,,, she actually made TWO reports, cuz the first one went ignored... I also found out later,,
Like only last month,,, all the "evidence" went before the grand jury,,, three different times... before he was EVER indicted...
HMMMMM..... there must NOT have been THAT MUCH "evidence" of a crime, right??
he shouldn't have lied....
BIG F-ING mistake, dude.......
You live, and you learn I guess......
I know I SURE HAVE LEARNED A LOT... the last four months....
Peace out folks......
here's the rest of my pain-full blog post;;;;;;;;

My stomach hurts my heart aches,
and my baby boy just wants his daddy.

so I think the courthouse is closed Monday, it's  a holiday.
but Tuesday he should get arraigned, in his fashionable jumpsuit, at 115pm
I really , sincerely hope they see he's
"no flight risk"
and has a stable job, home, and family...........
and NEEDS TO WORK to help support us.
I don't even want to THINK about him having to do time for this.
I just am absolutely dumbfounded, someone can SAY something like this.
and it RUINS ANOTHER FAMILY, completely.
this is seriously bad.
arrest records, are PERMANENT.
well, I think you can get them "cleared" for a couple grand.
all I can say is,
I somehow made it through the day without using drugs.
I wanted to, yes.
but I didn't do it.
I'd also love to have a drive up to you know who's house and have a "talk" with her.
but my friend, advised it wasn't a great idea.
Im signing out,
from the worst day ever,
the hardest day, ever
still sober.
thanks for reading

you know, i forgot something.
I've known this man for 13 years..... he really (used to at least) loved his new job.
I highly, highly doubt he'd do something so unthinkable, and risk everything we've
worked sooooo freaking hard for.
and IF 
and IF I say he in fact WAS a cheater, don't you think he would have cheated,
when I was "off" using drugs, not having any kind of relationship with him???
I think so. this just doesn't add up to ME..... NONE OF IT
that's just a small part of the reason, Im here, right beside him, same as he was
for ME< when I went through all my shit.
I'm here for him....... always.......
one more thing.....
IF he were the "forcing" himself type of guy.... his WIFE of ten years, would probably be the FIRST TO KNOW.... don't ya think???
well, it might be TOO MUCH detail for some,,, but he's just "not into it" believe me.......
I've tried.......
Being with the same person, for ten/twelve years... you become "open" to new ideas, right? I mean, what's wrong with that???
well,, it's just not something he's "in to"
Another drop in the bucket,,, Of why I believe him......

1 comment:

  1. Wow Amber, you really said all that well. I have the highest of hopes that everything works out okay! Keep in touch.