Sunday, December 23, 2012

Christmas Magic & gun control

What can I say,,,, Four days off, all in a row feels SO WEIRD......
It was so nice, to leave work on Friday and KNOW I didn't have to be back until,,,
Yep, WEDNESDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yippeeee for sure.
I have been able to give my son 100% of my attention, when he needs it. Instead of telling him I'm tired, or I'm trying to do this or that. When he's asked for me to hold him, or read to him, I've dropped everything and done it the last two days anyway.
Mike has to work tomorrow, one ride, so he shouldn't be gone too long. Sam and I will have some great one on one time in the morning.........
I don't think I wrote in last week's post that his evaluation went fairly well. You know when they 
scheduled it for ONE P.M. I told them he sleeps DAILY from 1230 to 230, so it's totally his "nap time" and I'm not responsible for what happens........
Much to my surprise he did VERY well, the first 90mins.
then,,,, after all these pictures,  questions, and instructions he stood up in the center of the floor, 
found a "spot"
laid down, put his arm under his head, and said,
"It's time for Sammy to nap now"
Well, you just HAVE to laugh at that, don't ya?
This kid LIKES his schedule......He may not like to sleep,, especially at BED TIME, but he KNOWS
when he needs a NAP.
The screener looks at me and says, I only have like four more questions.
I pick him up off the floor and TRY to get him to pay attention, but I do NOT have to tell you, there's just NO WAY anything was going to work, at THAT POINT.
So she says, He's just all done, isn't he?
I'm like YES,,,, he's all done. You won't get one more word out of him,,, in MY experience anyway.
Well they called it a day, they are supposed to finish the last of the questions, some time when he is at Head Start...... and that's fine with ME............................
All the 'questions' part was for the development/reasoning evaluation.......
the speech part went really well i think.....
he only "missed" one sound, "fork" with the F in front of the word, he got "knife"
with it in the END of the word.
the speech specialist said that WILL Come with time, and patience.
To just correct him, and praise him when he DOES say it well.
so, almost HALF of the "5yr" words he got, PERFECTLY.
his "over all" rate ,,, that they measure was JUST over 5 years old. so that's great news,
means he doesn't need "therapy" for his speech,or anything like that. Just that one, F sound, and the "r's" and "th" she said, that's the LAST sound for them to 'get' so don't worry about those ones, just yet.
I was seriously relieved.
And, you know, I could see the back of most of the flashcards, and he got almost ALL of them right, for the four year old ones, and about half of what I saw correct, from the five year old ones.
So, even the extra four questions they have, I don't see that being a huge drop or anything,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
the deal is ,,, AFTER They get those last questions done,
then "they" look at all the results, from everything he's done, and decide, whats "next"
whether or not he'll have any special instruction in the class, or we'll have stuff to work on at home
with him,,,, I won't know until they do.....  they will also send me a copy of the results, by mail.
got all my shopping done today!!!
That's quite the relief,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,whew!!!!
You know,,, as I've said before, last year was pretty tough...........
financially, and otherwise.
This year, has been VERY different....Now, I'm not saying I bought a bunch of gifts for my entire family,, No, I don't have THAT much money!!!
but what I was able to get, I know they will know, came right from my heart, and the fact that I could buy ANYTHING will show a WHOLE LOT OF PROGRESS................or at least it should!!!  :-)
For my son,,,
well he won't even know WHAT to think!!!  he's got about 4 gifts from me and his dad, and then about the same coming from "Santa"
We have been looking EVERYWHERE for these "dino cars"
Since September, when he first saw the commercial for these things, he's talked about them,,,,,
we haven't been able to find'm ANYWHERE, nobody we talk to has even HEARD of them,,,,,,,
When toy R us opened, we asked them,,,,, they had NO IDEA, either!!!
Well, we went to do our shopping yesterday, went to the mall and the toy store again, got him some stunt cars, instead that do a bunch of tricks and stuff.
figured, that's as close as we are going to get!!  He asked SANTA for the Dino cars, and a new tractor.
they didn't have much for tractors at Toys R us, so we went to Fred Meyer next......
We went thru the toy department, got him some more Thomas the train stuff, he just loves playing with his starter set,,, and  a couple of books for his leapster thing he got for his birthday.
I figured we were done,
and went to check the clearance racks in the kids' section..... . Mike was going to stay and find a "good tractor"   since we wanted to get him at LEAST ONE THING he asked the big man for.
a few minutes later, I'm cruising clearance racks, and what do I hear???
Here comes my husband, one HUGE box at his side, RUNNING down the aisle of Fred meyers,
"amber, amber, amber I found ONE, I found ONE,, amber LOOOOOOOK"
the DINO CARS!!!!!!!!!!!
good job daddy!!! he said he's looked for as many months as I HAVE, and NEVER seen one, but he was looking at R/C cars on the top shelf, and he found this ONE BOX turned backwards, that LOOKED like the commercial!!! ONE BOX<<<<<<
and we got it!!!  it was less than $50 too!!!
it actually has two cars in it, and the big one, turns into a huge T-rex.... it DOES look COOL...... i guess NOW
I know why he wanted one SO BADLY.
today, I went back down to ToyRus and exchanged the OTHER stunt cars, for some dinosaurs and "monster  jams" he LOVES the monster jams monster trucks,,,,,,,,,
It's funny, last year, he opened two presents, and just sat there and played,,,, didn't care one bit about any other gifts, or anything.
We'll see what happens THIS YEAR.......................
i also got rid of THREE HUGE TRASH BAGS full of toys!!!!
HAD to make room for the NEW stuff, anyways,
one bag I filled was all broken/missing stuff, and went in the trash. then I took one bag to the Penny-wise thrift store, and one to another thrift store, in Astoria.
I did that , when he was down for his nap. when he woke up, he noticed ONE THING GONE......
only ONE!!! now I KNOW I did the right thing!!! Wasn't sure as I was carrying it all to the car!!
I told him that Santa asked me to get rid of the toys he's too big for, so that some other little boys and girls could have a nice Christmas too.
he was just fine with that, even offered up a few more "gifts" to go!!!
I said, OKAY, now we are talking!!!
Seriously,,,, I kept his train stuff, all his cars/hotwheels/monster trucks,,, his big cars and trucks, his potato head stuff, and the action figures that were NOT broken!!!
He's got a LOT more room to play NOW........
and even with the new stuff, he should have more room than he did have.
It's kinda sad, getting rid of all the baby toys, and things they grow out of,
it's like another reminder, they are growing up and needing you less and less.
It makes me a little sad, and that's okay.
We also bought a couple presents for the toy drive yesterday, since that's the only reason we could give Sam anything last year. That felt really good to "pay it forward"...............  I just hope the person at the other end appreciates it as much as I did, when we needed it.
Sam even picked out a gift, and we told him it was going to be for a little boy whose mommy and daddy don't have enough money to buy him anything. he looked puzzled, but was HAPPY to pick a gift out. Talked about it, the rest of the night!!!!!
the fire trucks came around the other night, delivering food boxes, we used to get one every year, also.
Not this year, we make WAY too much, now.
I'm not bragging, believe me. But I did see the neighbor across the way, get one, and I was cleaning the kitchen today, there was some stuff that we brought with us, when we moved from the apartment, hasn't moved since we got here. So, I put it all in a box, and had Mike take it over there. He said the lady cried when he gave it to her and said, that we were in  a really rough place for a few years, and know exactly how it is, we just thought you might be able to use this, my wife just could NOT throw it away.
It wasn't much , just a bunch of canned food, bread that was about to go bad, rice, flour, stuff like that. 
the feeling of being able to help others, really is priceless.
when I was younger, I didn't understand that old saying,
"its better to give than to receive" 
I used to think whoever said that, was stupid or maybe crazy.
Knowing what I do NOW<,,,,,, I know that it really IS better to give.
And honestly I wish I could do a lot more. But anything helps, right???
I hate hearing about that school shooting on the news, ANY shooting like that is horrible.
I'm not sure exactly what the cure IS.
But one thing I do know, is assault rifles, should ONLY be for military.... I'm not sure what anyone else thinks they are "good" for. Even target practice, I get that, that it might be fun to shoot one, Ok.
So, don't sell any "live" ammunition for them, something like that.
AND I did think up a "plan" 
on how to solve gun control.............
if EVERY bullet was TAXED and all that shit, like cigarettes or GASOLINE is,,
and EACH BULLET was something crazy like  TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS 
I mean , EACH BULLET...........
you wouldn't have ANYONE "spraying gunfire" would you?
Nope, didn't think so.
AND IF SOMEONE DID GET SHOT, at least you'd KNOW They probably deserved it!!!!
You might be thinking, oh WEALTHY people would.....NOPE, rich people hate "wasting" money MORE than and Poor person I ever saw!!!
that's half a joke, and half serious.
Don't take anything I say, TOO seriously.......................
If that really was the case, and you hear about a woman shooting her husband, 
think about how long it would take her to save up 2 grand, and how many times she'd think it over,
before she finally did it.
then BAM, he's all done.
At least you'd know, he probably wasn't a good guy anyways.
I hate, absolutely hate how ONE PERSON,,, one dumb person at that, ruins everything, for everyone.
Like the cell phone laws, for example. people still drive and talk on their phone, only now they are concentrating MORE on
"is a cop coming" and they are even MORE Distracted. or they are TEXTING

which is TEN TIMES WORSE ,, if you ask me!!!
when it was still LEGAL, I only talked on the phone, if the traffic was light, and the "conditions" were okay.
I mean if you don't have the common sense to figure that out, you shouldn't be on the road to begin with.
anyways, it's just the point..............One person screws it up, for everyone else.
Pain pills, is ANOTHER ONE.
so now, with all the pain pill addicts, YES that includes ME.
people that "actually" need the pills, don't get them.
they don't know WHAT to say, what the magic is, to get the doctor to write them the pain pills.
hell, they aren't even LOOKING For them to begin with.
So who are the ones that get all the narcotics??
the ones that KNOW how to play the game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
who know WHAT to say, HOW to say it, ETC ETC ETC
the person that actually needs it, doesn't get ANY RELIEF.
and it'll probably stay that way.
Rant OVER..........
I've been off my ADHD meds for two weeks now. I want to try something different.
they were helping me, YES. . . but I was sort of getting a stomach ache, after taking them,
I even ate before hand, and took an acid reducer, 
tried about four different things the pharmacist recommended.
I'm going to go see my Doctor the day after Christmas,
my memory is not doing well, among other things.......but the memory is what I notice mostly.
I lose EVERYTHING............
even washed and dried my cell phone yesterday!!!!!!!!!!
and yes, it's broken, for good.
I still have my work cell which is saving my ass. . . . . But it seems like I'm forgetting and/or losing EVERYTHING now. and it's really irritating.
one reason too,,,
that I stopped my meds,
was I guess I have to KNOW I don't need something ,,, in order to take it???
I don't know if that will make ANY SENSE to someone who isn't an addict.
but Im so scared of being addicted to something again, that I HAVE TO KNOW I can go without and
be "okay"

Yes, I've done the same thing with my suboxone.  About three times actually.
I'm so so so scared to let something have THAT MUCH CONTROL over WHO I am again. 
Well, I've proved it to myself, now.
it's been OVER two weeks, and I'm fine,,,, just have a bad memory and absolutely NO attention span.
I've actually been "working on" this post for two days....if that gives ya ANY CLUE at all.
and when I say two days, I don't mean I've sat down twice to do it, 
I get up and walk off every ten minutes or so, cuz I get "side-tracked" then come back to it.
okay, that's about all I've got for now.
I'm sure I'll post before next weekend, but I don't know when I'll have time.
Thanks for reading,, and everyone have a 
~~~~~~~~VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS~~~~~~~~~
Hug your family tight. You never know what day will be your last.
I didn't have a new pics to post, so I just grabbed Sam and took one,
so this pic, is from ten mins ago,,,
I'm in my PJ's ,,,
no judgment allowed!!!
(sure is a nice change to smile big for every picture)

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