Saturday, September 8, 2012

historic bust in town, and my landlord

Happy Saturday everybody  :-)

Work went good this week, it was a four day week with the holiday.
People that live around where I do, probably already know the authorities completed the largest drug bust EVER in this county, at the end of Labor Day weekend.
25 arrests in all.
I knew 12 of those people. Actually 17/18 of them were familiar to me, 12 of them I had dealt with at least once, and EIGHT of them I knew VERY well. Or at least used to.
One of them, was the friend I've talked about here, that went to jail about 6 weeks ago. I also helped him get into see my doctor, and all that stuff. Obviously it didn't last long. But I did TRY.
To be honest here, )well thats why I'm writing, this is where I'm really honest with
myslef) at first, I felt very humbled and appreciative that I was NOT on the front page of the newspaper, or on the 5 o'clock news.
Then, I got sad.
I'm sad that most of these people are NOT bad people. They've just made a few bad decisions. And those bad decisions put them so far down a hole they feel like there's nowhere else to go.
I know at least for the friend I tried helping, his dad was also arrested, and obviously it's hard to have family support when drug use is all you've ever seen from your family.
Even when he WAS doing better, he was still 'doing deals' just to pay rent.
I think most 'main stream' people don't really realize how hard it REALLY is to get help.
Even when you make the decision yourself, to get help, your on  a waiting list usually, you still live in the same place, ETC.
NOW, dont misunderstand me, I think it NEEDS to be difficult to 'make things better'
If it were EASY, well then it'd be way to easy to 'get it back together' therefore, resulting in another relapse.
when things are difficult, and you DO work for them, you constantly keep in mind that you would LOSE all that you've gained for one short high.
On the other hand, HOW difficult should it be????
I definitely think it's time we had another answer other than jail.
America's answer for everything drug related, is jail. Did you know America is the only country that 'jails' drug addicts?? we also have the MOST people in jail for drugs, by numbers alone, not percentages. and lets face it, OBVIOUSLY its NOT working!!!
  Jail,  gets the person a day or two clean, sure. but that's where it ends.
It makes your tolerance go down, so you can have a higher 'high' too. Yea, that probably helps a whole bunch.
In general, it takes an addict MORE than one 'try' to get sober. Just like ex-smokers. chances are the time they actually quit, was NOT the first attempt. I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I really think jail is the WRONG one.
Now back to what I was talking about...................................
The entire next day all I could think about is people just like me, siting in jail, or released from jail but waiting for a court date to tell them just how long they are going to get.
Arresting drug addicts, is not winning the war on drugs.
Neither is 'siezing' the drugs.
Making treatment (in patient and out), replacement therapy, addiction counseling affordable and within REACH is going to do it.(or at least make a dent) And nothing less.
Believe me, many drug addicts just continue what they are doing because they have lost ALL hope that someone cares, that there IS a way out, and that they can change.

Sometimes I feel like I know all these people that are drowning, I can see their head just above the water line, and they are just fighting to stay alive. Arms are flailing around, scratching to stay on the surface, while others are sinking to the bottom , because they have just 'given up'. At the same time, all these people/politicians/government officials are walking by talking on their phones, eating lunch with their friends, etc.
If you go to the 'katu' site, the link at the top, you can see there's over 60 comments left by people. Most of them are making fun of the people arrested. Only a small percent are writing something worth reading.
Addiction doesn't discriminate. I'm sure some of the people writing on there have $20,000 worth of shoes, but are behind on taxes, or they spend a third of their paycheck on betting/gambling. You can be addicted to anything that makes you feel good. Sure, some of them are healthy addictions, I'll give you that. Just because the people that got arrested' addiction makes them look differently, doesn't mean we are better. All of us will be judged in the end, so let's try and cut it out in the meantime.
I tried posting a comment on that page at least three times. Every time, I just couldn't click "post'' because anyone whos going to write such hateful things won't listen to anybody else, anyways.
I'm still processing my feelings from this whole story.
It's working, but I still feel bad for their moms, dads, loved ones, the ones who 'see' what we don't, when you see their mugshot.

In other news.....................
My landlord from the apartment sent us a bill, last Tuesday.
Yep, saying that painting the walls cost $500 and cleaning the carpet $400. and so on and so on.
HALF of the stuff he 'nickled and dimed' on there, was already WRITTEN on the check in sheet from when we MOVED IN.
For example, on our check in sheet it says, "shelf broken in fridge"
our bill.................   new shelf in fridge $150

Yes, I'm serious. I'm not making it up!!! and I cannot believe it either!!! How the hell does this guy sleep at night???
Here's his big website, from  his big 'ol realty place he has in northern cali somewhere, where he sells multi-million dollar properties,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
apparently, he wins all kinds of awards and crap.
I'm working on copying everything and taking it to the lawyer, but I'm guessing it wont be worth paying the money to get anything.
I really LOVE how he waited SIX WEEKS to send us a BILL.
what a great guy.
that's all I have to say for now.

The way I HAVE to look at this situation,,,,,,,,
I have to turn it around, into something positive, or I'D GO CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!
because you know, I don't do DRUGS anymore!!!!!!
at LEAST we got OUT of that apartment!! seriously, I was getting SO depressed there at the end. I could totally feel this negative 'wave' of energy coming over me, every time I pulled in.
It's so much different now. things are so much more peaceful. the WHOLE family seems more at peace since moving. I mean I KNEW moving was going to be a (good) dramatic change, but I really had no idea.

Now that entire 'drug scene' just feels VERY distant.
So, those are things I have to look at. That's how I turn a negative,,,, into a positive, nowadays. I could sit here and write three pages about how pissed I am that the landlord, will ONCE again, get away with taking some one's money, who works hard 40 hours a week to get it, not just sit back and collect it. But no, Im not going to do that. I will 'shine on' and know that I'm richer in MY life with things he's not even capable of seeing.
And that's how I sleep at night.
I know I'm trying my hardest, to stay off drugs, and away from them, anything to do with them. I try my hardest at work everyday to provide a good life for my son, and at least he'll know what I am, how I got there, and hopefully what NOT to do.

Well I'm leaving you with a picture of all (three) of my boys.
I love every one of them, with all my heart.
Thanks for reading..................................
stay tuned................................................

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