Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Being Sick, and no "self medicating"

So of course, my gums are still sore. Well, thats an understatement, but not what I want this post to be about.
The only other time Ive been sick since I got clean is when I had that horrible abscess in my lower jaw, just before my teeth got pulled on the bottom. It was so infected, that being on antibiotics for a straight week, hadn't done any good, and it just kept swelling. Finally got into the dentist, got stronger antibiotics, and within another 5 days I was feeling better. By the time that 5 days was up though, I had a fever, and lost a day at work because I had absolutely no energy, and just felt shitty all the way around.

This is much different. I thought this was just allergies the other day. Maybe I was being hope full.

Here's the thing, when you've been your own doctor/pharmacist for YEARS, its really freaking hard to just be sick and "deal with it"
NOT to mention, the major holes in my mouth. There is stitches, but I can still feel the 'flaps' of skin move around when I try to blow my nose (ever so gently), cough, sneeze or WHATEVER.
It completely SUCKS.

Yesterday, I had all this sinus pressure, and that was really painful. Im already taking the maximum amount of tylenol and Motrin a person can take, because of my teeth getting pulled. I went to the store and bought some crap that was SUPPOSED to relieve sinus pressure, but it was a complete waste of money. It said you only needed to take one, and after I waited 45min, I took #2. Still no relief, so I took one more, and when that didn't work I came to the conclusion it just wasnt going to.

Then I remembered that you have to have a prescription now, for sudafed. Even though, anybody who wants to cook methamphetamine, does, and probably gets it off the Internet!!!
If I wasnt so freaking sick, Id drive across the river to Washington and see if I could find a box!!!!

Mental note though, next time we're outta town, thats definitely what Im doing. Hopefully you don't need an Rx in Washington state now. I have no idea though.

Back to my point, a year or so ago, if I had a cold/flu/allergies (any excuse really) I'd take enough dillaud, morphine, oxy or whatever I could find to tranquilize a horse, and get 'through it."

Obviously that isn't the case today. Although, I did think about it.
I know where that road leads, so Im not going down it today.

Right now, Im just hopeful for a very FAST recovery, both with my gums feeling better and now with this cold or whatever it is. Instead of it being all sinus pressure and congestion in my head like it was yesterday, today its moved into my throat and chest.

My mouth seems to feel better today, but I don't know if its because being sick is just a huge distraction.

Well I had to unload my bad thoughts. I was definitely missing being able to self medicate today. But I know this too, will pass.
And when its over, I'll be that much stronger, for getting thru it, without getting high, relapsing, or selling my soul to the devil himself once again.

To be continued..........................

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